Faded in to You Read online

  “Shit.”

  “Such language, Mr. Raja.”

  Ravinder looked up to see Thaddeus was standing at the door, hands in his pockets and shoulder against the doorframe. It was hard to ignore how good Thaddeus looked standing like that. Suddenly Ravinder couldn’t breathe. “Sometimes it’s called for.”

  “Anything I can help you with?”

  Ravinder toyed with the answer he wanted to give and the one that was appropriate for the workplace. In the end, he smiled and motioned for Thaddeus to enter. “Close the door.”

  Without questioning, Thaddeus did as Ravinder asked then sat in one of the chairs before the desk.

  “You think I’m in the closet.”

  Thaddeus stretched his legs out before him, rested his elbows on the arms of the chair and laced his fingers across his stomach. “Are you?”

  “No,” Ravinder said. “I haven’t been in the closet since I was fourteen. I’m a little…”

  “Just say it, Ravinder.”

  Ravinder sighed. “I’ve been thinking about the other night at my place. That question you asked me. The answer is yes.”

  “I’ve asked you many questions since I’ve met you,” Thaddeus said softly. “Most of which are still unanswered.”

  “Huh?”

  “You have to be more specific.”

  “Oh, right,” Ravinder sputtered. “You do turn me on.”

  Thaddeus’ dark eyes shimmered with something dangerous.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Ravinder shook his head. “I’ve never been the shy kind. Usually, when I see a man I want and I’m sure he is gay, I just go for it. With you, I feel this apprehension that makes no sense to me.”

  “And you think that’s a weakness?”

  “Isn’t it?”

  Thaddeus shifted. “Look, Ravinder. If you have to talk yourself into my bed then it’s not worth it. That’s not how I want you. If you ever choose to sleep with me, it has to be because that’s what you want too, not because it’s what I want. That is never a good reason to give your body to anyone—even me.”

  Ravinder rose from his chair, walked around the desk then rested his ass on the edge of it. He folded his arms across his chest and found a spot on the floor before him to stare at. “I’m complicating this more than it needs to be, huh? You make me nervous, that’s all.”

  “I make you nervous.” Thaddeus stood and stepped before him. “There’s no need to be afraid of me, Ravinder. I’m just a man.” Thaddeus took one of Ravinder’s hands and brought it up to the side of Thaddeus’ face. He then dragged it down his body, over his chest then to his crotch. “See? Just a man.”

  Ravinder squeezed and took great pride in the growl that escaped Thaddeus’ throat.

  “We would get fired for what I want to do to you right now,” Thaddeus said. “I’ll tell you what. If you feel brave tonight, come see me at my place. I’ll give Abhay my address. If you don’t show up, I won’t hold it against you. But you won’t regret it if you come.”

  “This is up to me?”

  “Of course. Anything I do to you or this body will all be up to you.”

  Ravinder smiled. He’d never had a man talk to him the way Thaddeus spoke to him. There was something dominant yet sexy about it, and he didn’t know how he’d gone his whole life without a lover making him feel so hot. Chewing on his bottom lip, he played the offer over in his head then lifted his chin. “Kiss me?”

  “Here? Aren’t you afraid someone will walk in on us?”

  “At this point, my need to feel your lips on mine outweighs the concern of getting caught. Besides, in the interest of full disclosure, I told Paresh I’m gay.”

  Thaddeus laughed softly. He didn’t touch Ravinder, but he gave Ravinder what he wanted—a steaming kiss that Ravinder knew, in hindsight, was a bad idea. Still, he gripped the desk behind him and surrendered his mouth. He allowed his body to fall into the moment.

  By the time Ravinder felt as if his mind would implode and he pulled back, all he wanted to do was grab Thaddeus and rip his clothes off. But he was given one final chance to clear his head, make his choice. He lifted his head and managed a smile.

  “I’ll see you later,” Thaddeus said, heading for the door.

  “No pressure?”

  “Of course not.” Thaddeus didn’t stop. “No pressure at all.”

  * * * *

  Thaddeus spent the rest of the day covered in dust and computer parts. He skipped lunch so he could finish early then headed home. On his way there, he stopped to get ice cream, then it was a mad dash to the house to put it in the freezer. Thankfully, he didn’t have far to go and his driver knew all the right shortcuts. With the cold dessert stashed away, he shaved and took a shower. Then, while on Facetime with Ko, he started dinner.

  “So, what’s tonight for, then?” Ko asked. “I’m confused.”

  “I don’t know. I figured if he wants us to make love, he’ll show up tonight,” Thaddeus said. “Even then, I don’t know if that will happen.”

  “Why not?”

  “I keep thinking of how I’ll feel to know he only slept with me because I basically guilted him into it.”

  “That’s not guilt, Ade. Trust me, my father is a king of guilt, so I know it very well.”

  Thaddeus had to smile at that. Sometimes Ko’s father was a bit of a jerk. Ko could have gone off and done anything with his life—that was how talented and determined Ko was. Except, of course, when it came to standing up to his father. “All I’m saying is, I want him to actually want to do it too.”

  “I see.”

  “If I see even a hint of hesitation, I’m going to back off.”

  “Makes sense. You’re never this patient with a man. Why is this one so special?”

  Thaddeus shrugged and picked up his phone to look at his friend on the screen. He thought of the question, but in the end, all he could come up with was, “I don’t know. You see, Ravinder doesn’t get weak because of who I was or what I have. He gets that way when I look at him, when I kiss him, or touch that spot at the back of his neck. Isn’t that what we all look for? A man who melts from a touch?”

  Ko nodded. “True. That’s what happens when we have so much—we don’t know who wants us for us or what we own.”

  “That’s right.” Thaddeus said, setting the phone back down to dice some onions for the pasta sauce. “With Ravinder, I can tell. He’s independent and he loves what he does. I can see he won’t let me get away with anything either.”

  Ko laughed. “’Bout time you found someone to whip your ass into shape.”

  “You’re a dick, you know that?”

  “I’ve been told,” Ko replied nonchalantly. “So listen, next Wednesday I’ll be touching down in Mumbai!”

  “And your father knows you’re leaving, right?”

  Ko nodded. “Yes. I told him I have things to do. This is not like when I wanted to go off to college. I miss you, Ade. It’s not the same around here.”

  “I’d say. I’m just that unforgettable.”

  Ko laughed. “Would you check out the ego on this one!”

  “Seriously.” Thaddeus grinned. “I’ll be there to pick you up.”

  “Thanks, brother. It’ll be good to see you.”

  “I hear that.” Thaddeus tasted his pasta sauce and made a face. “This is ridiculous.”

  “What is?”

  Thaddeus stared at the spices, slightly irritated. “It’s missing something.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Thaddeus picked up the phone and held it so Ko could see.

  “Oh, you’re making sauce—try a little paprika, cumin and a pinch of salt.”

  “How do you know this?”

  “Trust me,” Ko said.

  Thaddeus did and when he tasted the sauce he smiled. “Thank you, Chef Morimoto! I have to go. I’ll call you at some point.”

  Ko nodded.

  After hanging up, Thaddeus checked his battery. He was only down to
eighty percent, so he set the cell on the counter and focused on finishing dinner. By the time eight o’clock rolled around, he figured Ravinder wasn’t going to show up. A part of him expected that, but he was still a bit disappointed. The food had long since gone cold, so he set everything in the fridge and headed into his office to get some more work done. He created a couple of banners to be placed on affiliated websites as per Ravinder’s request and sent them off to Ravinder for approval.

  It had been a while since Thaddeus had done any graphics but he was really pleased with how they’d turned out. He sent an extra copy to his remote server so he could add them to his portfolio later then grabbed a beer from the kitchen. As he twisted the cap off, he toyed with the idea of calling Ravinder, but he had promised not to push. Yet his arousal kept causing him to dwell on their connection a little stronger than he probably should have.

  After downing the beer in one go, he dropped the bottle into the blue bin. He needed a cold shower. But when he climbed into the bathtub and turned on the water, he couldn’t get it to come out as cold as he wanted it to be. The water was still tolerable and did nothing to quell the need inside him.

  Eventually, he gave up on it ever going away and turned the water off. With a towel wrapped around his hips, he wandered downstairs for some ice cream. His cell rang from where it sat in the kitchen, and Thaddeus grabbed it on his way toward the deck.

  “Masterson.”

  “Thaddeus…”

  Only one man said his name with such a soft gasp.

  “Hey, Ravinder. What’s up?”

  “I know I’m late but can you open the gate?”

  Thaddeus tilted his head but hurried to look out the window. The headlights of Abhay’s Town Car shone brightly, and Thaddeus shook his head. “Okay.” He pressed the code to open the gate and hung up. He didn’t get the door until after he’d taken a couple of swallows of the delicious dessert. He carried the bowl with him to let Ravinder into the house.

  Chapter Nine

  Ravinder walked by Thaddeus into the air-conditioned foyer. His nerves threatened to have him running out of the house like a scared virgin. Maybe Alfred had been right. Maybe the men Ravinder had been dating were immature and had no clue what a real man stood for. With Thaddeus, every time Ravinder saw him, he had an overwhelming urge to merely drop his pants and bend over. Thaddeus was a real man. From the designer suits that draped perfectly over those wide shoulders, to the overpowering force of his presence—everything about Thaddeus told Ravinder that in Thaddeus’ bed, Ravinder’s body would be satisfied.

  So, instead of running, Ravinder held his ground. He lifted his chin and entered Thaddeus’ domain as if the world were spinning right and all was well inside him. Once those doors clicked shut behind him, Ravinder knew there was no turning back.

  He stopped to remove his shoes and after setting them to the side, Ravinder turned and stared at Thaddeus. Having Thaddeus open the door shirtless with a small bowl of ice cream in one hand wasn’t what Ravinder had expected. He rested his hands on his hips and wondered what it would be like to take the cool dessert from Thaddeus, use it to lather Thaddeus’ nipples right before Ravinder sucked them clean again. Just the thought made him tremble and aroused.

  “You hungry?” Thaddeus asked, walking by him.

  Ravinder followed. “I really didn’t come here for food.”

  Thaddeus stopped and their gazes locked. “Then what did you come here for?”

  “You.”

  “Be more specific.”

  Ravinder inhaled deeply and climbed onto one of the stools. “Well, short of stripping naked and bending over that table back there, I’m not sure how I can be any more explicit.”

  “You bent over a table—damn, Ravinder. Just the thought alone makes me hard.”

  Lowering his gaze, Ravinder grinned. The towel around Thaddeus’ hips was standing in a tent. “I can see that. You see, Thaddeus, there is no hesitation about this. I came here to get fucked. If you can’t do it, then we’re wasting our time.”

  “Oh, I can give you what you want. The question is, will you regret it later?”

  “Regret it? Why would you think that?”

  Thaddeus shrugged. “No offense, but you seem like the type.”

  “The type?” Ravinder was offended. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means you are a nice guy, Ravinder. You talk a good game and when it comes to everyone else’s problems you’re the go-to guy. But when it comes to you and what makes your eyes roll back and that beautiful ass of yours throb with pleasure, you close down and you second-guess.”

  “I have to. I’m not getting any younger and men haven’t exactly been spectacular to me over the years.”

  “But you can’t blame all men.” Thaddeus took a breath. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe us sleeping together is a bad idea.”

  “Are you a horrible lover?”

  “Well, I don’t want to brag or anything…”

  “It’s like this,” Ravinder said. “I had a friend who slept with a guy she thought would be a stud in bed—turns out the guy was just one big snafu.”

  “I tell you what.” Thaddeus set his ice cream on the counter and walked toward Ravinder slowly. “I’ll make you a deal. When we’re finished, tell me if I’m a big snafu.”

  Thaddeus stalked him like prey, his dark brown eyes melting and shimmering with a dare Ravinder craved. He gripped the counter and moved around it, putting the island between himself and Thaddeus.

  “Ravinder…” Thaddeus stopped. “Come here.”’

  Ravinder smirked and began undoing the buttons on his shirt. When they were all loose, he pushed the material off his shoulders. Dragging his hands over his chest, he moaned and allowed his head to fall backward slightly. Thaddeus lurched around the island for him, but he simply moved again, ensuring the island was between them. He continued touching himself, pinching his own nipples with one hand then sliding the other into the waist of his slacks.

  “Ravi…”

  “You want my body, right?” Ravinder asked, undoing the buckle of his pants and sliding the belt free. He pushed his pants and boxers down and stepped from them.

  Thaddeus licked his lips, a low rumble escaping his chest.

  Ravinder backed up, glancing over his shoulder from time to time to make sure he didn’t crash into anything. At the table, he turned around and leaned over it while hiking his ass in the air. “Here you are, Daddy. Come take it.”

  At first, he thought Thaddeus would do nothing. Then, to his pleasant surprise, Thaddeus was behind him, on his knees and giving Ravinder the rimming of his life. Whimpering, Ravinder gripped the edge of the table and rooted back shamelessly onto Thaddeus’ skillful tongue.

  “Yes,” Ravinder moaned. “That’s it, baby. Yes!”

  The table creaked under his weight, but Ravinder didn’t care. He focused on the fire threatening to consume him. Ravinder spread his legs wide to give Thaddeus better access. Thaddeus flicked the top of his tongue against Ravinder’s ring before plunging in. Ravinder melted against the table as he gyrated his hips, trying to screw Thaddeus’ face into him.

  “I want to come,” Ravinder warned.

  “Not yet,” Thaddeus told him. “Not until I say you can.”

  “Baby?” Ravinder pleaded. “You’re eating it so good! Please let me—damn.”

  Thaddeus made a sound in the back of his throat, and suddenly his tongue was gone. Ravinder writhed on the table, gripping the edge tighter. He whimpered. Thaddeus was no longer licking at him, yet he could still feel it. Footsteps echoed around him and even though Ravinder wanted to stand and see what was happening, he was too weak. His knees wobbled under him each time he tried pushing upward. After a few seconds, he decided to wait right there until he could think straight.

  Then the crackle of plastic being ripped filled the air. His heart lurched happily. When Thaddeus touched him again it was to lather lube against his hole and insert a finger.


  Ravinder sighed dreamily as he stuck his ass out to get the finger deeper. “I don’t mean to be…such a…such a…”

  “Such a what?”

  “A…slut but…”

  Thaddeus kissed the back of his neck. “In my bed, Ravinder, you’re going to have to learn one thing—the bigger slut you are, the more turned on I become.”

  “Really?”

  “Have you ever heard the saying, ‘a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed’?”

  “Not really.”

  Thaddeus chuckled then withdrew the finger. He braced the head of his dick at Ravinder’s entrance and pushed in slowly. When he was almost all the way in, he slammed his hips forward.

  “Fuck!” Ravinder screamed. Being taken with so much care made his eyes cross. Chewing his lower lip, he dug his nails so hard into the table he heard a couple of them snap, but he didn’t stop to look at them.

  Thaddeus’ breath bathed the side of his ear.

  “I like a gentleman in the streets, Ravinder, but a freak in my bed.”

  Ravinder moaned. That was all he could muster, for Thaddeus had withdrawn only to plunge roughly back into him. He panted. Each time Thaddeus’ thighs slapped against his, he tried shouting his joy, but all he could do was make a raspy, whimpering sound.

  “Ride back on me, baby,” Thaddeus instructed. “That’s it—roll those hips for me.”

  Ravinder’s shyness came back. Thaddeus was being demanding, gripping his hips to show Ravinder precisely the way he wanted it. Though before Thaddeus, the thought of a man doing that had turned Ravinder off, but with Thaddeus, Ravinder was on the brink of his first orgasm. It pulsed in the pit of his stomach then vibrated through his hole to clench tightly around Thaddeus’ dick. Ravinder went with it, gave himself over to the powerful man behind him who ground him into the table.

  “Thaddeus,” Ravinder whispered. When the tip of his lover’s cock smashed into that special spot, there were no more thoughts of being shy or silent. Thaddeus was the biggest man Ravinder had ever taken. He filled Ravinder completely,